It's the love

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

i got sick for reading sejarah ==

i was reading and reading, suddenly my head was dizzy

then when i lie down i feel like vomitting

oh well, i thought i will be better when i wake up the next day

who knows, i got a fever when i woke up at 2 something in the morning ==

gosh, tried to sleep but having a fever is really suffering

so i crept down the stairs and open the doors quietly

since i don't want to wake anyone up

ate 2 panadols, but still can't seem to sleep

rang up a panda, and luckily he was there with me over the phone

until i felt like sleeping <3

the next morning i wake up

i decided to go to school

who knows, i got even sicker when i stepped in

can't bear with the illness, called my mum

she went to fetch me

but she started scolding me..

accusing that i don't want to go to school and pretend to be sick

so i wanted to go home

seriously, it's not like that, she has no idea how much i will miss if i skipped school

then she said that i sleep late because i on facebook everyday, and say i'm a form 5 please concentrate on my studies..

wth? i DID study, i got sick because i focused too much on my book

and you say that i on facebook everyday?

i suddenly feel that my hardwork means nothing to her

because all she cares about is her own opinions

and just say it out without caring for other people's feelings

i started to cry

i hate it, i hate it when i work really hard, and i got accuse for being lazy

then i started explaining that i stayed up late is because i was studying

then she said, if you dont have time to study then don't always go out for that useless thing la

can't helped it, i cried even more

xue ji is not a useless and worthless THING

it's part of my life

and you don't even care how important it means to me

you will never know what i care about

why do you want to judge me when the first intervensi isn't over yet?

i seriously felt like fighting back but i was too sick

she dont know, the reason i studied that hard

is because i want to have more chance to go back and see my xue di mei

i really care about them

i have my responsibility to guide them

for once, i studied not for myself

i seriously never worked this hard in my life before

last year, i would on my computer all day long

and just do a little bit of homework

now i even control myself not to touch my computer

just so that i can go back to see them

you and your own selfish opinions.

i seriously have nothing to say

to myself:

i'm sorry for being weak and cried.

i just did cry when i'm typing this.

i'm sorry

a smile a day keeps the doctor away :)