Saturday, February 26, 2011
when i heard the news. it was shocking
i didn't cry.
and of course i won't cry for a person that i don't know.
but. it was something else.
it was the pain in my heart that is hard to fade away
today~ she's going to be in flames
it feels so hard to let myself be easy.
We haven't even done stuff together.
i didn't even get to know her.
she just left. left us. left xue ji.
this kind of feeling, nobody will understand
maybe you all think i am being FAKE
as in a cat crying for a mouse.
NO! it's not.
is just a special bond between all of us.
that nobody can give.
except them
Received Sms from kai yong.
she asked me to take care of myself.
haha, will anyone ever do that? haha except her.
she cried for this particular person
and we both don't even know.
i didn't went to her funeral to see her for the one last time
but in my heart.
i prayed. prayed that she will be happier up there
maybe the illness is eating her alive?
maybe it is just better this way.
Although i don't know you.
i just hope you can feel what am i feeling for you now.
rest in peace, yee ling .
Thursday, February 24, 2011
JUST~ hate it ==
为什么只有我体谅你们的感受? 为什么你们不会换个角度来想，其实我并不是你们想的那样
i know a lot of you hate it too.. hahaha
i don't want to move
你认为我想的吗? 每次看到你们我都战战兢兢，不知要给什么反应
i'm so tired~
keep wan me to run ==
fine~ i "RUN" as in walk.
结果，你们竟然误会了我。你们知道，认识了我那么久，我是这样的人吗?
i can't believe prefect's camp is next week ==
so fast ~~~~
今天，并不是我要特地"装"不舒服，只是我不知道我应该用怎样的语气跟你们讲话
when i saw the calendar.
i was shocked ==
Zzzzzz
你们有没有想过，我有多辛苦，你们在我背后讲，一大班人支持，而我就一个人承受
need to pack my bag AGAIN!
ahh~ hate it larrr
我不敢开口跟你们讲话，怕一开口又说错话，你们又不喜欢我了 =(
i really should sleep more..
(although i can't)
几好，不开口竟然有人关心我，可是我很想很想跟你们说话
i have a BIGGG pimple on my forehead
and.. it looks like it is swollen == ZZZZZz
忍不住了，只好四周溜荡，在一个没有人的地方偷偷流眼泪
it is! is like a big bump~
==
因为，我真的看不出我说话会刺耳，因为你们说话时，也是那么的讽刺对方
HATE IT!
在想，是啊，你们同班当然好，我是局外人当然说这些会刺耳
and.. my panda eyes~
gosh gosh gosh
but once i reach home
决定，勇敢开口讲话，怎知，看到你的脸，又不爽了 =(
i don't want to sleep anymore XDDDD
weird right? i know ~~~
hahahahahahhaa
难道我开口是罪吗? 为什么他们有权力说话，我又没有
ish~ add maths TT
make my head spinning around~
我不是特地ban你们的game只是，我真的不想添麻烦，你说那些只是一小部分的人
tuition TT i don't want to go~
i just want to be lazy at home
一小部分已经可以完完全全影响到整个营的流程，你们有想过吗? 也会搞到你们自己慌乱
and don't care about anything
muaahahhhahahaa
我又看到你们的脸不爽了 =( 我没有特地ban你们，真的没有，我也很有礼貌的跟你们讲
wow, how good will life be~ =DDDD
我真的不懂我做错什么。我不想继续说下去，因为怕你们明天又不理我了
你知道，你们跟我说话，我真的很开心吗? 你们关心我，我真的很开心
but i'm so lazy~~~
homeworks a~~~~~~
lazy to do....
我不癫了，因为我要做回自己。也许我癫你们会不开心
it would be good if i invent a robot that can help me do my homework XDDD
and study for me XDDDD
我真的很怕你们不理我，我一直在改变，但是，又怕改到你们更不喜欢 =(
BUAHAHAAA..
你们不要怪我好吗? 有时我真的不知所措
omg =-=
如果你们站在我的位置，也许你们会明白和了解我的心情和做法
i have to pull myself back from reality.
rain rain go away~ come again another day~
晴，我知道你在看，我不是在说你，我真的很开心你会接受我，爱你 =)
Saturday, February 19, 2011
now that i see all those previous stuff
i remembered everything quite clearly.
haha.
maybe. you have forgotten already =)
maybe, you don't need me already.
You said, "I am looking forward to seeing your smile, because i miss your smile :D"
haha, maybe when you see this,
you also don't know it is you right?
haha, i am unhappy indeed.
but when was the last time you ever post something for me?
"My heart is down when i can't see your teeth with braces."
this. was. last. year.
this year, i don't even dare to think any further.
sometimes, i just tell myself
"wow, you look so happy now =) and not the person that always not trusted in friendship and isolated herself in a box"
ever looked behind?
actually, i was looking at your every move.
" 不需要我的陪伴。
可是请你记得，
当你转身回头一看的时候，我都紧紧地尾随着你。
因为我爱你。哈哈"
when i saw this.
tears almost rolled down.
and. when was the last time i blogged about you? =)
i don't know what you think of me
but i think of you as my most special person.
i changed you.
to a more happy person.
i'm proud. but now, i don't know is there a person to change me?
missed the times.
"I miss my dear dear, hahas."
haha, you always emo-ed.
and i always used my "HEAT" to warm you.
now, i lost my heat.
i don't know, is there a person to warm me back?
you know? i kept everything you gave me.
and some, i don't even "she de" to use.. hahaha
you know? when you turn your back around.
you never know
how much it hurts my heart.
but, i still wanted to stay strong
a smilee, always on my face.
but at home, is just a different story
haha, now i remembered.
you heard a super duper nice song
and you wanted me to sing to you.
haha..
now, i just.
Friday, February 18, 2011
once in my life, my very first blank exam paper..
LOL! not completely blank also.
is just that.. one page blank.. also considered blank la! ==
what subject you ask? add maths ==
haih~ big SIGH.
i was so panick, my tears also burst out.
really, freaked me out.. i can't believe i cannot manage to answer 2 questions
and one question was one mark,
once in my life time~
i left a question blank.
BLANK. seriously...
haih~ forget that.
other subjects.. was ok la =)
i was hoping the ONE PERSON who got A in sej is me ><
i studied really hard on it.
i really hope is me =(
what else~ haha... others was quite ok.. except science =(
i don't know how to answer. but still i manage to NOT leave it blank la
actually, the only subjects i have confidence in is
SEJarah, Ekon, BI and moral.. hahahahaa
don't know why also =)
first exam, i didn't really work very hard
so.. better blame myself for bad results =(
exam is over.
i am not relaxed =(
i have a super duper long to-do list to accomplish =(
sad right? HAIHHHHHH.
at least i can get back some sleep that i lost.
don't know why.. i am super duper down.
总觉得有太多东西压着我，
我快透不过气来。
反我会觉得考试不重要
而其他的东西比较重要~
AH!我在讲什么? =(
我还能做什么?
只怪自己不够努力。
Friday, February 11, 2011
and i decide to on the com?
ermmm.. hahaha.. actually.. i just cannot study at this time
cause of some reasons~ haha
hahaha.. so i decided to blog a little =)
WELL, these days~ haha
i'm so busy that i can't even remember what i did
goshh.. well, the most shocking thing is they changed to wilayah song
and it's not 4 beat is 3 beat ==
luckily last time kwx taught me how to conduct 3 beat
if not, i m sure dead already =DDDD
camp meetings. urgh ==
till now still cannot decide on anything
so many problems... so many questions
this is the most headaching thing i EVER done
but i don't really regret.. LOL? haha
exam
well,.... everyone is not prepared... including me
now, i don't even have the mood to study ==
omg... what am i? form 4 cannot simply tembak dy TT
so must.. study study study... but
let me rest awhile 1st la..
so super duper tired =(
xue ji ji hua shu ..
this one... although is alot of work
but still chinese camp is more of a headache to me.. hahahaha
hahahaha.. sunday.. is my deadline
and.. i
haven't finish doing it yet
==
GAH... i've got a time table in my head already.. hahahha
EIEIEI! i really stopped playing com for 3 days loo.. hahaha
cause yesterday i wanted to do ji hua shu ma
and now.. is relaxing my mind maa XDDDDD
i can't seem to cool down =(
i tried so hard.. really very hard. to control myself
now.. i just feel.. erm...... very..bad =(
is so unright for that to do that.. LOL
(don't know what am i talking? aiya.. sure know wan laa =P)
thanks yin joe !!! really..!!!
you're so supportive .. aiyer *touched*
thanks for helping me =) really de.. =)
till now i still very grateful to you =)
and CHEEN!
thanks also laa =DDDD
i already hung the keychain on my pencil box =)
thanks for hearing me mubble.. hahahahha
AHAHAHAHA...
i like to mumble aint i? heeeeeeeeeeeee
i hope THAT will stop THIS. hahahahha
HAHAAHa.. == i don't feel funny also ==
BLAHHHH
yer, i really care =( i really really mind =(
although it is not your fault, but somehow my heart feels. not right =(
miss you.. NGEKS hahahahhaa
Sunday, February 6, 2011
haihhhhhhhh ... seriously.. i can't connect every point into a sentence
fine~ so many things
still un-done =( am i going to end up with nothing in this 1 week holiday?
seriously, i didn't enjoy much
is just books, homework, oral and project
and i intend to sleep at 2 just because of that oral ==
and whereever i go~
there's a book on my hand
so yesterday, my dad's friend
keep praising me in front of her children
say what i'm so hardworking blah blah blah
but is not that i want to be hardworking
is just that, i don't have a choice.
of course la, if i can choose
i sure will choose to slack off and enjoy my holidays
UHhh, how i wish i can go back to form 3 =(
i don't mind taking another PMR ;D
well, time can't flow back
can't it?
you know?
now. i live a solitary life.. hahaa
suddenly hate mixing around
is like, i have isolated myself in a box
my bro say that i'm not friendly.
i just tell him "depends on who am i talking to"
hahaa,
i just know i changed alot comparing to last year.
when was the last time you see a smile on my face?
i hardly can remember. haha
有时，一个人的时候
难免会觉得孤独
可是，我选择把自己塞到最角落的一边
发现，我的世界已经不想以前那么简单
Thursday, February 3, 2011
happy chinese new year people =)
although it's chinese new year
i don't think i can fully enjoy this holiday
cause, exam is right around the corner
and you all might be thinking
"aiya exam only ma... after chinese new year only study laaa"
oh~ i DID have this thinking
at FIRST
oh wait wait.. you say i am being overly dramatic about exams?
oh no no no... you know why i'm being overly dramatic?
i have xue ji stuff to do TT
is like a one man machine making the whole camp planning
oh sorry, one girl machine..
well, i'm not complaining.
is just that, i can't imagine how busy my life is.
it's already thursday
and i haven't even touched my homework =.=
i really waiting to die laaaa..
then my next meeting is actually on the day before my exam
and.. i am not planning to skip it
OH WOW!
my grades will end up.. erm. bad ><
abit envy to those who can actually sit back and relax during chinese new year
ok, here's my to-do list
-BI oral
-BC oral
-Ekon Modul
-BC & BM Essay
-studying
-计划书
"ei? why are you so busy ei? it's just a short list"
"OH GOD OH GOD! short list? you come and be me for one day and you'll faint"
but... i think i'm wasting time ==
hahahahahahahahahhahaahaha
is thursday already =(
i don't want my holidays to end =(
i don't want to go to school =(
dunwan dunwan TTTTTTTTTTT
GAH... my unfinished homework.
i'm going to finish you *some day*
HAHAHAA... haihh
hate exams =(
i made a decision
not going to online for NEXT WEEK
nononon
no computerss.
nonononono!
*please pray that i will success*
